


Increases the drinker's desire to converse

by siDEADde



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: AU, Crack, F/F, crackfic, everyone is ooc, no one is dead, sylvaina, sylvanas loyalists discord prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siDEADde/pseuds/siDEADde
Summary: Prompt: People talk about being an angry drunk or a happy drunk. Jaina's a weirdly political drunk.On Friday nights, Jaina and her mage friends all get together to unwind with a few drinks and bar tricks. Sylvanas joins them on the rare occasion she has Saturday off; they are a wild bunch.
Relationships: Jaina Proudmoore/Sylvanas Windrunner
Comments: 22
Kudos: 133





	Increases the drinker's desire to converse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MikailaT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikailaT/gifts).



> The prompt was accidentally posted in a NSFW channel, and I spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure out how to make it porn before Mikaila claimed it a miss-post. Sorry M, no real porn, but hopefully you get a laugh out of it.
> 
> I apologize ahead of time for anything that clashes hard, y'all. Just suspend your disbelief and EVERYTHING you know about the characters except that J&S are head over heels for each other, just like they should be.
> 
> Thanks BurgerBurgerBurger for letting me steal Jaina's drink of choice and ScouterFight for the corrections. ♥

The call comes at 1:00am and she almost knocks the lamp from the nightstand grabbing for that infernal goblin communication device Jaina insisted on.

“This better be good,” She growls out, not bothering to even open her eyes to check who’s on the other end.

“Sylvanas?” 

She pulls her face back and forces her eyes open, squinting at a picture of Jaina’s beaming face. Except that wasn’t Jaina on the other end. She presses the device back to her ear and kicks at the sheets tangled around her legs.

“Yes, yes. It’s me, where’s Jaina? Is she ok? Who is this?” 

She tips her head, trapping the device against her shoulder as she puts on the first pair of pants she can find laying on the floor--a pair of Jaina’s pajama pants, pink and covered with purple stars. Pulling the drawstring, she secures them around her narrower hips before feeling along under the bed for a pair of shoes.

“She’s -- she’s fine, but you’ve gotta come get her.” The woman on the other end hesitates and Sylvanas hears her muffled shout before she moves her fingers and barks into the phone. “Hurry!”

She snags the sandals hiding with the dustbunnies trapped between the nightstand and the bed and then runs through the list in her head: pants, shoes, shirt -- the cotton undershirt at the top of the hamper will have to suffice. Thank Belore it’s black because she’s sure as fuck not looking for a bra. She snags her key from the kitchen table and Thas’dorah from the rack by the door. She has work in four hours; looks like she can forget about sleep tonight.

A thousand scenarios play out in her mind on the ten minute ride to the Legerdemain Lounge from Jaina’s apartment. On Friday nights, Jaina and her mage friends all get together to unwind with a few drinks and bar tricks. Sylvanas joins them on the rare occasion she has Saturday off; they are a wild bunch. Anar’alah, if they let anything happen to Jaina…

She jumps off the horse at the steps to the lounge but hesitates on the top stair and cringes when it’s clear that the slurred shouting she can hear from the street is her girlfriend. _Oh,_ she realizes, _it’s -that- kind of “come get her.”_ She takes a deep breath and pushes inside.

The room is in shambles; all the tables are upright, but the chairs are strewn about as the crowd circles around what has to be Jaina. Sylvanas spots Modera standing with a cluster of people, Jaina’s portable device in her hand, biting her thumbnail as she watches the scene in front of her. Sylvanas moves over to her, preparing to ask what’s going on, but she’s cut off by the sound of glasses slamming onto boards.

Her girlfriend is sitting at a table in her laced sleeves and corset, pauldron and cloak thrown on the floor next to her. Across from her sits Kalec in only his white undershirt, vest forgotten on the table behind him. In front of the both of them are two rows of six shot glasses, the first two in each row are already flipped upside down.

“Hey Modera, what the fuck?!”

The other woman turns and rushes over to Sylvanas and grabs her arm. “Thank the Gods, Sylvanas, you’ve got to get her out of here before they drink themselves to death or before she says something stupid enough to get into a real fight--” She stops and looks at Sylvanas from head to toe. “What the hell are you _wearing_?”

“It’s one AM, Modera. I sleep nude.” Modera grimaces and Sylvanas rolls her eyes, “What is going on? Are they playing strip...shots?”

Modera looks back over at the table. “Noooo, I think all the shouting made them hot? I don’t know. Ya girl is a bizarre drunk. She pounded three Mutineers and started ranting about dragon politics. Obviously trying to rile Kalec, oh, and it worked. I’ve never seen her like this.”

“Well,” Sylvanas drawls, “Have you ever seen her actually drunk? Not buzzed--drunk.”

Modera opens her mouth as if to say yes, then slowly closes it. 

“I thought not. Even I’ve only seen it once before.” Sylvanas glances over Modera’s shoulder and watches as Jaina pulls another shot in front of her and pushes one in front of the blue dragon. Kalec’s eyes are bloodshot and watery, and she can see the flush in Jaina’s cheeks. “He really shouldn’t have challenged her. She gets in _a way_ when she’s smashed. A weird political way, but _a way_ nonetheless”

Modera looks at her in surprise. “You don’t seem terribly shocked, or particularly concerned.”

Sylvanas smirks. “Until she’s standing on the table or insults a World Leader to their face, I’m not intervening. She’s got a wicked right hook and isn’t very discerning as to who is graced with it.”

A cheer goes up around them as two more empty shot glasses are pounded on the table. Jaina wipes her watering eyes and Kalec pitches and bobs like he’s on a boat.

“Last summer, we were in Silvermoon for a ball.” Sylvanas subtly moves so that Modera blocks Jaina’s line of sight of her, but so that she could still keep an eye on Jaina. “And she had a bottle of Silvermoon Port and a half of one of Suntouched Special Reserve before the dancing even started...”

_Sylvanas generally disapproves of public drunkenness, but Jaina is so beautiful with the wine-blush across her fair skin and the arcane shining in her eyes. Perfectly fuckable, right here, on this table. She clenches her jaw at the thought of Jaina spread in front of her, skirts pushed up over her hips, back arched. Maybe they should bail and go back to their room at the Silvermoon City Inn, so Sylvanas can see just how far that flush goes past her neckline._

_She watches Jaina’s finger absently circle the rim of her wineglass before she picks it up and brings it to her lips, eyes on the swirling dancers. Then the song ends and Jaina turns and catches her staring . Blue eyes darken, and she leans over to whisper in Sylvanas’s ear._

_“I’ve been thinking and…” Her ear flicks, a reflex that makes Jaina grin then gently bite along the edge. Sylvanas groans. “I think that elves should be able to vote.”_

_The groan cuts off in a choke and she jerks back, “What!?”_

_Jaina moves closer, her knees bracketing Sylvanas’s. She could reach out and pull the mage right into her lap, but fights the urge to do so, her head still buzzing from Jaina’s comment. Jaina’s hand cups around her ear as if she’s telling secrets and as she leans forward again, Sylvanas sees her wink at Kael’thas. This is a Jaina Proudmoore she’s never met before and she has no idea how to handle her. Sylvanas feels completely out of control of whatever this has spiraled into. When she goes to ask about the wink, the ability to form words leaves her because Jaina slides her tongue up the curve of her ear and whispers._

_“Will you get me another glass of wine?”_

_Sylvanas just nods dumbly, suddenly realizing that she’d locked eyes with Kael and he was looking at her in shock. She can’t stop the blush that travels to the tips of her ears, so escape is the next best option. She shoves back her chair and heads to the bar, turning back once to see Jaina trapping a panicked-looking Kael in animated conversation._

_At the bar, she waits as the bartender puts together her order, a glass of Suntouched Special Reserve and a glass of tonic with lime. At the rate Jaina’s going, Sylvanas will need all her wits about her. Then she hears it._

_“Don’t be shy K, throw off the chains of tyranny and rise up against the monarchy.”_

_Sylvanas sees just about every ear in the room swivel to where Jaina has invaded Kael’s space, gesturing wildly. She completely forgets about the drinks and rushes back to the table only to hear Jaina wind up for more._

_“King Anes...Amned…King Amsterdam should be deposed!” Sylvanas manages to make it to her side just as Jaina tumbles forward off her chair, saving her from burying her face into Kael’s lap. Jaina leans heavily against her and slurs loudly. “Power to the people!”_

_She claps her hand over her girlfriend’s mouth and gives her crown prince the most apologetic look she can and shrugs sheepishly. “She’s never had elven wine before.” She turns to catch the bleary eyes above her hand and whispers through clenched teeth. “And you, shhhh, ok? You are going to cause a diplomatic incident.”_

_Jaina nods, eyes barely tracking Sylvanas’s. The minute she pulls her hand away, chaos erupts. Jaina thrusts her fist into the air as she calls out, “We want DEMOCRACY not a MONARCHRACY” and catches Sylvanas right in the eye. She sees stars and can hear Kael and his entourage guffaw._

_She lets out a string of curses in Thalassian. “Ok, that’s it, we’re leaving.” She scoops Jaina up and throws her over her shoulder, striding out of the ballroom with what little dignity she can muster. At least Jaina stays quiet. As they wait for their ride back to the inn, they stand in awkward silence. When Sylvanas sneaks a look at her girlfriend, she wants to catch her back up in her arms. Jaina’s eyes are wide and clear now and she’s biting on her lip._

_“Hey, hey. It’s ok.” She holds out her arms and Jaina falls into them, sniffling. “Oh no, don’t cry, it’s alright. Kael knows you; he knows you were joking.” Sylvanas hugs her and rolls her eyes as her sniffles become actual tears. Crying drunks are the worst._

_“I’m sorry I punched you,” Jaina mumbles against her chest. Sylvanas tightens her arms and kisses her temple._

_“It was an accident and a learning experience. You learned about elven wine and I learned that my girlfriend is a pugnacious drunk. Also, monarchracy isn’t a word.”_

“And that was my first run in with drunk Jaina.” Sylvanas flashes a wry grin and looks over Modera’s shoulder as Jaina slams the fourth glass down on the table and wipes her mouth on her sleeve. “Looks like I’m about to have another.”

“Did you get a black eye?”

“I did, but it was worth it.”

Modera raises an eyebrow and hands over Jaina’s device.

“Kael avoided us for the rest of our weekend there.” Sylvanas smirks, “And that was some of the best sex I’ve ever had. Now, I’m going to go grab her before she drives Kalec to snatch away her arcane or whatever he can do as a torment.” 

Jaina’s voice rings out above the buzz of the crowd. “...I just don’t see why you’re the Aspect? Was it a popular vote that made you that or did you just decide no one could aspect as well as you?”

“And that’s my cue! Thanks for calling, Modera. Next time call as soon as she mentions politics, that’s usually the sign of one too many Mutineers.” 

Sylvanas grins and waves then pushes through the crowd behind Jaina who’s shoved back her chair and is now standing, pointing her empty shot glass in Kalec’s face.

“Because if you aspect as badly as you drink…”

Kalec stands abruptly, gulping his last two shots and slamming the glasses on the table. “If I aspect--whatever, you know that’s not a verb, right? And actually, it _was_ a popular vote. It looks like I drink _and_ aspect better than you, Daughter of the Sea.”

Jaina growls and grabs for the last full glass in her line, but Sylvanas gets to it first. She snags it off the table, throws it back, and promptly chokes. “Anar'alah belore, Halaani whiskey, Jaina?! Fucking gross.”

Kalec sways as he laughs and the affronted look Jaina turns on her scalds for the half second it takes for Jaina to take her in. She snorts and brings a hand to her mouth. “Why are you wearing my pajamas?”

“Because it’s 1:30AM and I have to save my drunk girlfriend from the wrath of the entire blue dragonflight because she insulted their Aspect by drinking him under the table and they were all I could find on the floor.” Sylvanas grins, flashing the tips of her fangs. “Are you going to leave peacefully, or do you need to punch someone before I throw you over my shoulder and drag you out of here in front of all your friends?”

Jaina attempts to wink, but Sylvanas is pretty sure if both eyes move it’s just blinking. Then she stagger-steps and leans over to whisper in Sylvanas’s ear. “I will forego the punching, but I feel that since you drank my last shot, being forcibly removed will help me save face.” 

Sylvanas smirks and grabs Jaina around her waist and tosses her up over her shoulder. She then calls out loudly. “That’s it, we’re leaving!” 

Jaina flips off a laughing Kalec. “This isn’t over, dragon! You’d be on the floor if it weren’t for Sylvanas saving you.”

Sylvanas swats Jaina on her ass as she strides for the door, winking at Modera as she passes. ‘Thank you again,’ she mouths on the way out. She figures Modera will get Jaina’s cloak and pauldron and keep it for her until next time they see each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> Jesus it's fucking terrifying posting in a fandom whose canon and characters you only know from other people's fanfic.


End file.
